Life

A good joke about sense of a stop sign

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that
he has a better education then any Scottish copper.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!

Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.'

London Lawyer says, 'What for?'

Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

Glasgow cop says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.'

London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence
and registration, please!'

London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll
give you my licence and registration, and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't
give me the ticket.'

Glasgow cop says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the f*ck out of the lawyer and says,

'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?

Bred Pitt about the job

I think that Fight Club is probably my favorite movie. At least one of them, for sure
http://ilovebig4.org.ua/2007/11/youre-not-your-job.html

Fun of business interviews

Fun of management consulting interview
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwixqrJID_I

Fun of investment banking interview
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTeKCm0ueHM

Murphy's Laws

As you know I like smart humor. Here are the good samples of it.

Murphy's Law ("If anything can go wrong, it will")

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first one to go wrong.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

· Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.

· The Murphy Philosophy

Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse

 Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

 · More Laws of Selective Gravitation.

· A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.

Murphy's love laws

· All the good ones are taken.

· If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.

Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

Murphy's commerce law

· The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

· If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

Murphy's technology laws

• Logic is a systematic method of coming to      the wrong conclusion with confidence.

 Murphy's Laws of sex

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

Airplane Law:

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Billings

's Law:

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

To read all of them go to the official Murphy's Laws official website

Political fun

I am sure you have already seen it. But just in case

Dobkin and Gepa Kernes - the Best
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZKlbqxblU0

Lionia Kosmos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiZfCqjhW8Q&NR=1

Funny pictures and creative advertising

I like smart fun. Creative advertising is good as well.

Recently, my friends have sent me some high quality samples, which I want to share.

Check them.

Funny pictures
Download Nothingisimpossible.pps

Creative advertising
Download social_advertising.doc

Humour about consulting

My favorites from Kellogg consulting club (follow the link to read have even more)

Signs You Work in Consulting
You get all excited it's Saturday so you can wear casual clothes to work

Ways to Know You've Got the Consulting Bug
Constant urge to give advice on subjects you know nothing about

Things a Consultant Shouldn't Tell a Client
I could just tell you the answer, but we're committed to a three month Project

Things You'll Never Hear from a Consultant
I don't know enough to speak intelligently about that.

Wonderful story about consultants
A consultant died and went to heaven. There were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the consultant was, and greeted him warmly. St. Peter took the consultant up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The consultant said, "I like all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you're 193 years old!"

You know it is time to get out of consulting when...
You give constructive feedback to your dog

English humour

I selected my favourites from PETER KAY

1)When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

2) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

3) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

4) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure.

Good joke about Big4

One politician, One thief & One BIG 4 employee died & went straight to
hell.
Politician said "I miss my country. I want to call my country and see
how everybody is doing there." She called and talked for about 5 minutes,
and then she asked "Well, devil how much I need to pay for the call????

The devil says "Five million dollars".
The Politician wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Thief was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the my
group members, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes, and then he asked "Well,
devil, how much do I need to pay for the call????
The devil says "Ten million dollars".

With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on
his chair.BIG 4 employee was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call
my office friends, managers and partners ",He called other BIG 4 employees and he talked for twenty hours about his audit files and jobs what are the new clients, he talked & talked & talked,
then he asked "Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????

The devil says "Twenty dollars".
BIG 4 employer is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only??"
Devil says: - Calling from Hell to Hell is considered Local Call